There it is: the page for those who can't process info as well as others. So if you're reading this now, things don't look too bright for you. I'll help alleviate the pain and give you some direction. If something's still not clear, then yeah, I'll allow you to bug me through the Contact Form (which can be found at the top of the homepage, dummy).
Life & Death
What is the purpose of life?
Buying mismatched cufflink pairs and sets from the Angry Unicorn.
Why did god not answer my prayers for fame, money and sleazy partners?
Because you've been praying to the wrong god all along, stupid!
What are my life choices?
There aren't that many to be honest. Fiddy summed it up perfectly in its masterpiece.
I need a better life, how should I go about it?
Please contact me so that I can block your email address. I don't want to deal with people like you. Unless, of course, you get some of these incredible mismatched cufflinks, in which case, I'll make an exception, and I'll email you personally upon purchase.
Pricing & Billing
Do I have to pay VAT?
No, you do not need to pay VAT on any of our items, except where mentioned.
I have questions on my charges.
Click the 'My Account' link at the top of our site to review your orders. You may compare your order history on our website with your financial records. If you have further questions or concerns, please contact us for further assistance using the 'Contact' form at the top of the site.
What are my payment choices?
During the checkout process you may choose any of our current payment options and continue to place your order. Please note that we will not send your order until we receive payment from you.
I need a copy of my receipt/invoice.
Please contact us if you need a copy of your order.
Problems with your delivery
My order has not arrived or an item is missing from my delivery.
Please contact us for assistance.
I have received the wrong product(s).
If you feel that you have received the wrong product, please contact us within 72 hours of receiving the product. Our contact details can be found using the 'Contact' form at the top of our site.
While we have faith in the quality and aesthetics of our products, we want you to be 100% happy with them. This is why, if it were not the case, we enforce a 100% return policy for store credit within 90 days. You do not need to give us any reason. If your goods are damaged then we ask for a photograph of the item as an attachment to the email. We ask that all goods be returned to us are in their original condition and packaging.
If the goods you have received from us are faulty or not as described then we will be happy to arrange for either a refund or a replacement. Returns postage costs will be paid by us.
If you have simply changed your mind, then we ask that after contacting us, you return the items to us within 14 days. You will need to arrange for return of the goods and pay all postage costs to return the item to us.
Once you have notified us that you are cancelling your order, any sum debited to us from your credit card will be re-credited to your account as soon as possible after receipt of the goods and in any event within 30 days of your order PROVIDED THAT the goods in question are returned by you and received by us in the condition they were in when delivered to you. If you do not return the goods delivered to you or do not pay the costs of delivery, we will be entitled to deduct the direct costs of recovering the goods from the amount to be re-credited to you.
Please note that any delivery or collection arranged by us cannot be offered for timed delivery or timed collections.
How do I create an account?
Once you have placed an order and have gone through checkout, you will be asked whether you want to set up an account.
How do I edit my account information?
Click the 'My Account' link at the top of our site to edit your account information.
I forgot my password
Click the 'My Account' link at the top of our site, enter your email address and click on 'forgot your password'. Our system will send you a message with a reminder of your password.