In the land of Unicornia, everything I do isn’t just about making money for fairy sprinkles and elf cookies, especially since elf cookies taste like cardboard. Sometimes, we gotta get serious and real.
Before you say I’m going soft, I’m here to tell you why some of the crap you do doesn’t help. Like, you probably get emails or have someone flashing a petition in your face saying, “Sign this page and we can save a tree in Kansas.” Cause that crap doesn’t help! That’s just something you do if you wanna be that one girl from that one Whedon musical.
Hell, you ever stop and ask why you print pamphlets no one reads on paper, if you’re trying to save a tree? Good job genius, you killed a tree to save a tree.
No, you wanna do something that matters to somebody. Something that makes a difference besides wasting everyone’s time. If you’re not gonna get badass cufflinks from me, then head on over to Bond47 and check out their stuff.
Start with the Le Marais Cufflinks. It’s got a slick and sleek design that goes great for events like a prom or a classy company dinner or awards ceremony. A buddy of mine got these and had the donation money sent to foster a bear and put that much more into the effort to stop unethical bear bile farming. Yeah you heard that right, there are some idiots that wanna cage and mistreat bears to collect their puke for medicine and other junk.
But maybe you’re the type of guy who cares more about people. That’s legit, long as you see Unicorns as people (but not dolphins. Screw those guys). Check out the Louvre Cufflinks and set your donation to provide assistance to a human trafficking survivor. Fitting that your purchase of a grey and black set of cufflinks, honoring the works of your greatest artists, would also support some of your most tragic victims.
What about the bare necessities? It's the little things that we all need regardless of where we live. Let me show off the Pantheon Cufflinks, which is a big name for a set of links shaped like a styling set of globes. Wearing these shows your commitment to being ethically responsible and not being a douche--you can even feed a child in Liberia, Haiti, or South Sudan for six months with these cufflinks. What’s better for the world than making sure the world’s future doesn’t starve?
Some people piss me off because they make a mess of a world. But guys like you reading this right now, who wanna make a difference. We’re solid. If you want cufflinks and don’t wanna buy my badass mismatched cufflinks, then think about Bond47. Cause nothing’s more badass then giving a damn and doing something to make things better.