So I had to uppercut a dolphin today.
I was traveling the Sylvan Seaside Shoals of Silverlil (don’t think too hard, you aren’t awesome enough to have heard of it), when I came across Dumbass the Dolphin. Double D flops his fat gray body to block me and claps his dumb flippers all while squeaking at me. He says, “Hey Angry Uni, I heard you’re selling some awesome cufflinks to men. Are you selling skirts for the ladies?”
So, I told him to waddle up to eye level so I could tell him a secret and when he did, BLAU! Uppercut to the chin and I cracked a frickin’ hoof on his dumb face. After that, I got the idea to write a little something that sets the record straight. Pay attention, it’s not hard and costs less than that pizza you were eyeballing for lunch.
I had to smack the fool for thinking that Cufflinks are just for men. That’s about as true as Unicorns not being real. You know what’s abso-freakin-gorgeous? A classy confident woman.
Doesn’t matter if she’s hanging out with friends, going to a business meeting, or enjoying an evening with an SO (That’s significant other, not Sober Otter. Those don’t exist), you get a woman in a sharp outfit decked out in a fine set of cuffs and you’ll get a vision of awesome that’s about two or three steps below an angry unicorn and that’s pretty high on the list.
Take a look at these cufflinks from Bond47. The Victor Hugo inspired design doesn’t need a lot of bells and whistles to look damned good. It’s got a sleek gunmetal and crystal design that goes well with black or dark blue, and is a conversation starter for fans of Hugo’s writing. Really though, isn’t the idea of a fine piece of jewelry like this to draw positive attention from those around, whether associate, business partner, or SO (significant other, not sewage orangutan)?
Maybe you’re looking for something to wear around the office, to snub the idea of idiots like Dumbass Dolphin that says that women can’t rock a set of cufflinks. I suggest the Musee Nissim set, which has a less flashy design but looks no less awesome. Goes well with black or beige suits and you get to fart off giving to the office charity by saying “I got these cuffs and gave a poverty stricken family in India water for half a year. Can the office pool match that?”
Here’s a hint, the answer is HELL NO.
But maybe you wanna chip in to the help an angry unicorn buy a new fence so his magical glade isn’t invaded by live lawn gnomes fund. Then here’s a set of social networking links that I made, for the web 2.0 pioneers you are. Nothing says meta-aware like walking around with a like button reminder on your own wrists.
Gotta go though, Dumbass Dolphin is waking up.